My father is proof: it’s how you end up that matters. He went from being the center of my inner pain and a source of shame, to being my hero & a man pointing all to Heaven.
By the time I was 15, I hadn’t seen him at all since I was 7 or so. How did things get to that point?
He was an outright hero in the Pacific Theater in WWII. He was accomplished in countless crafts, mechanic, lumberjack, carpenter, and blest with an unrivaled work ethic, an excellent father to me as a small child. But on their wedding night, my mother discovered he was the worst sort of full-throttle alcoholic, further injured in soul by his war experience. His own brothers had actually tried to warn my mother, ‘don’t marry Raymond,’ they said, but my parents did get married in a military wedding in 1944. It was then what was wrong with Raymond became very clear.
After my oldest brothers were born, she divorced him. But several years later, he went to ‘take the pledge’ not to drink, at St. Augustine’s, and he was true to his word for over eight years. They remarried and Dad, along with my brothers, built us a wonderful house on the lake at Summerhaven. My sister and I were born while we lived there. It was almost like heaven on earth for us, or so it seemed to me.
But then came the fatal decision to move into the city, and that was all she wrote. Dad was soon drinking full tilt, even though he was managing to work, do a garden, provide meat & seafood and so much more. One day he just sat in a chair all day seeing nothing, then in front of my sister and me, he stood up and flopped on the floor. The ambulance took him. The priest told my mother she was not obligated to keep the kids living with a full-blown alcoholic. We moved in a tiny apartment and I never saw him again till I was 15.
After my teenage conversion experience, I was at St. Paul’s Center one day, and I just started bawling uncontrollably. Roger Tondreau took me in a room, and I talked with the priest. It came out: I was missing my father SO MUCH. I knew his worth and goodness and grieved the state he was in, grieved not having him in my life. The pain was as deep as pain could be. The priest said ‘have you prayed for him’? And, I realized with utter shock - that I had NOT! ‘Pray for him every day. Be kind to him.’
From that point on I prayed for him at daily Mass and all through the day. I went to go visit him at his little Bond Street place downtown where he was ‘living in sin’ with another woman and drinking. I just came and talked with him without preaching at all, and gave him the books “The Imitation of Christ” and “My Daily Bread”.
After I moved to a retreat center in Massachusetts, I heard the amazing story from him by phone. He had gone to a multi-hour Confession at St. Augustine’s, moved out from living with that woman, started going to daily Mass. He said the words of the books had awoken his deep faith within him. I remember all the signs of faith he and my mother had around when I was little, and even when he was worst, he knew living faith was the right thing. And now he had taken the steps to return to a relationship with his Creator, the Savior and the Lover of his soul. He quickly went from being THE black sheep of the family to being a source of wise advice and a good example for all of my cousins and everyone else in the family.
Many years later I came back to see him. I think he lived in a small upper-floor apartment on Northern Avenue leading up to St. Augustine’s. I was SO glad to see him! sober, happy, with that twinkle in his eye! We talked for hours. There is one thing in particular I remember. He was describing how he worked - and, believe me, he was the hardest, most indefatigable worker I have ever met. He talked like this: ‘When I run into a problem, I stop to pray. I ask God to help me see what I can’t see at the moment. I ask my guardian angel to guide. And then the inspiration comes, I see something I couldn’t see before to solve the problem. Then I thank Him. I spend the whole day with God. He uses me.’ He also talked at length about his renewed prayer and faith life. My father had been dead in soul before and now? now? he was totally alive! alive enough to go on for eternal life!
When I left there, I felt SO inspired! I walked down those stairs and started down the hill on that street, and I just started singing it a few times, a verse from the Apostle, St. Paul, “He that is in us is greater than he that is in the world! He that is in us is greater than he that is in the world!” Soon the rest of the song poured out, merely reflecting the spiritual triumph I had just experienced in my father, the triumph Our King promised to the poor in spirit who turn to His Heart of Mercy, what my mother Mary sang about in her beautiful Magnificat in Luke 1, the triumph of the poor over all the forces of evil.
And now, although I have strayed myself at times, I have a grandson who is just like my father: so conscientious, applying his sharp mind to be of service and do good. My wife and I are blessed beyond measure that the faith of my father lives on.
This song, “He That is In Us”, is a direct result of being inspired by my father’s faith! Here are the lyrics. CLICK the line to hear a salvaged version of the song as done in the early days by Living Waters:
He That is In Us (live)
HE THAT IS IN US
by Mark A. Lajoie
Copyright 2011, RN SR 679-889
CHORUS
He that is in us is great-er than he that is in the world (echo)
He that is in us is great-er than he that is in the world (echo)
That is in the world
Wake up! (Wake up!)
Get read-y! (Get ready!)
We are not fight-ing with men
Stand up! (Stand up!)
Be count-ed! (Be counted!)
Be sure of Him in whom we stand! 'Cause
[CHORUS]
Keep my words and fol-low me
Then you'll know the truth and you'll be free
O yes, yes, I know and I ne-ver want to let you go
I'm the Rock a-mid your strife
I'm the One Who's gonna give you life
O yes, yes, I know, re-sist the de-vil and he will go
The thief has come on-ly to rob, kill and de-stroy
But I have come that you might have life and life to the full-est
[CHORUS]
Wake up! (Wake up!)
Get read-y! (Get ready!)
Put on the ar-mor of God
Stand up! (Stand up!)
Take Cour-age! (Take Cour-age!)
We'll see his vic-t'ry be-fore long! 'Cause
[CHORUS]
I am inspired and strengthened anew by both my husband and my father-in-law! Such LaJOY!
(Mrs. Mark Lajoie)